Why Husband Bashing Drives Me Crazy

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There is one thing I hear a lot of women do that I find hurtful and drives me crazy to the core: When I hear them talking negatively about their husband. I grew up in a very interesting household, that involved my mother consistently being negative towards my real father and my step father. I saw that in a lot of my family members and the way interactions occurred between the husband and the wife. I have strived to uplift my husband in public whether it is at church, amongst friends, etc. Am I perfect? Not at all! Have I failed? Certainly. However, I make a point that when I am speaking about my husband, it is always in the positive light. Over the years since I have become a mom, I have attempted to go to different play groups and mom activities. One thing has been consistent across the board: at some point during the time together, there will be a time of griping about husbands. You won’t believe how stupid my husband is. Or can you believe my husband is such an idiot? Or I can’t trust my husband to do anything. Each woman trying to “top” the other on how stupid their husband is. It ultimately became a big deal for me and one of the bigger factors in why I stopped going to multiple mom groups. Our culture also pushes us to look at our husbands as stupid. Idiots that can’t possibly do anything as good as us women. There is also encouragement for children to degrade their fathers! Seriously! This should sicken us! I don’t know about you, but I desire to raise children who have respect for their father. Since so far I have been blessed with boys, I want to raise Godly men who are respected. I have to admit. I struggle. I get frustrated and say things that aren’t respectful about my husband or to my husband in front of the boys. I strive for my boys to hear me speak kindly and positively about their father. One argument I hear a lot is that men, or your husband, is not worthy of respect. We aren’t worthy of a lot of things. However, I wonder how we expect our husbands to be men and leaders if we are busy crushing them with our words and our actions? Men desire respect. It is how they are made. The biggest insult we can do to our husbands is degrade and insult them in a public setting. I completely agree. My husband is not perfect, but you know what? Neither am I! Not anywhere close to perfect, and it crushes my heart to even imagine the thought of my husband sitting with other men or a group of people and saying, “You won’t believe what my stupid wife did today?” My husband is such a blessing to me. We are imperfect people, but I am thankful God made Him for me. He is hard working, loving husband and father. Being married to a midwife is hard, as it is hard for me to be married to a minister! However, he is my rock. It is tough being married to me, and then add being a midwife! 🙂 I have unpredictable hours, 2am phone calls, three day long births. And you know what? My husband graciously takes charge. He is an amazing dad. He cooks, cleans, keeps up the laundry. My house is often in better condition when I get home from a birth than when I left it, I am sad to admit it! I am so blessed! I would love for each woman out there to take a moment and consider if roles were reversed and your husband was out talking negatively about you, how would that make you feel? I imagine for most, it might make you think twice before speaking negatively about your husband. With love, Shannon

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